Over the last few days, I have received many emails from people in the United States. Thank you for your prayers and well wishes. They are needed and appreciated.
I am leaving Peru in three days, and I am sad to do so. I have fallen in love with the people I work with and the people I serve. Many people have tried to assure me that I am not letting people down by leaving early. The fact of the matter is that my early departure does leave a hole that I have had not enough time to teach others how to fill. This is difficult, both for me, and for the Acercandonos community. However, there are two things of which I am confident:
1. I know I need to return home. I have to live in my body for the rest of my life, and this means I need to take care of it.
2. God's grace is made perfect through the "holes" of this world. God fills what is empty and lacking in ways that we don't expect or can even imagine. I know that God is up to something good in Alto Cayma.
On my combi rides in the morning, I have found myself thinking about the ways God works in this world and how we can discern what it is that he wants for us. I don't believe God inflicts painful things upon us to move us along. After all, God the Father is inherently creative not destructive. God the Son is redemptive and God the Holy Spirit is sanctifying and life-giving, not life-taking. God is not the cause of divorce, abuse, job loss, or health problems. I think that bad things, tough things, painful things happen in this world because the world we live in is not perfect and is sinful and broken. However, I believe that God works through what is broken in this world, in our relationships and in our bodies to bring about healing, fullness, holiness, and peace.
As I walk through my faith journey, I am not so certain that the easiest path is always the right one. Rarely in life do things fall into place perfectly. (And if life really was like that, I think I would be bored.) However, I also think part of the definition of wisdom is knowing when you are supposed to fight for something and when you are supposed to gracefully accept that this, what you want so badly, is not for you right now.
I pray that God continues to be patient with me and with all of us, and I pray that he might teach us wisdom.
I wish I could read your blog more often without crying. Beautiful insights, my beautiful friend. Though my heart breaks with yours that you can't serve your full time in Peru, part of me does rejoice at the opportunity to see you sooner. You have done good, it's time now to be well. I love you SO much!
ReplyDelete