Meghan and Her Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

((A small warning: This entry definitely does not contain what mom would consider good dinner table conversation.))

Okay – so this past Thursday wasn’t terrible or horrible per se. It wasn’t even very bad, but it was definitely no good. On Thursday, two other American teachers (Heidi and Eric) and I had to go to the hospital for testing so that we could receive health insurance in Slovakia. We woke up at 4:30am and headed to Martin – a town that was two and a half hours away – so that we could go to a good hospital. One of the fifth year students, Lucas, came along so that he could act as our translator.

By the time we arrived at the hospital in Martin, the sun was high in the sky. Our first stop was to one of the clinics for a round of tests. I went first. I walked down the hall to a room where two Slovak nurses were stationed. They motioned for me to sit down – and from there, I was at their mercy. For the record, my nurses were warm and friendly. They tried to communicate with me through hand motions – but even that was difficult. It is disconcerting to have people doing things to your body with little to no warning. One nurse took four large vials of blood from my left arm. I knew from the second she started that I was going to have a whopping bruise. Check out the shiner I had the next day:

Once the first nurse finished with my blood, the second nurse motioned for me to lie down so that she could listen to my heart and press on my abdomen. Once that nurse was done, the first nurse handed me a stick with cotton on the end. The other nurse began pantomining what I was supposed to do with the stick. Apparently, they wanted some kind of anal gland sample. Sweet Lord. Let’s just say I was happy to be out of there!

The second stop was to an x-ray clinic for tuberculosis tests. Heidi, Eric and I took turns getting scanned. Then we waited. And waited. Finally, the radiologist finished – and declared all of us TB free. Woo hoo.

At this time, it was late morning. We hadn’t been allowed to eat breakfast because of the blood test. We were tired, we were hungry, and we stunk from the first van ride. Because the end was in sight, we settled into our seats and began what we thought was the two and a half hour ride home. After about an hour and a half of driving, we stopped in Banska Stiavnica. Lucas shared with us that we needed to pick up a shipment of uniforms for the school. This seemed to be a minor delay en route to home. We didn’t know that we needed to be worried until the van stopped again about twenty minutes later. When Lucas got out of the car, he motioned for us to follow him. “What’s going on?” I ask. “We are going to do tourism for one hour,” he answered. Apparently the headmistress at our school told Lucas that he should show us around Banska Stiavnica on our ride home. At EGT when the headmistress tells you to do something, good teachers and good students do it. Lucas, being a good student, looked up the history of the Banksa Stiavnica and had even made notes. He was ready to be our tour guide. We were ready to be comatose.

During our hour of mandatory tourism we saw two churches, a few historical monuments, and some of the mainstreets in Stiavnica. Lucas was an excellent guide. We really did do our best to be good tourists.

Finally, we returned to our van. At best guess, I figured we were a little under an hour away from home. Thank God. “Lucas,” I ask, “How far away is Tisovec?” “We are three hours away,” he answered.

After ten and a half hours, Heidi and I walked into our apartment at last. Home, sweet home. Life was good…. until I looked in the mirror and realized that my eye was bleeding. When I showed Heidi, she remarked, “Wow. Your red hair really brings out the red in your eyes.”

My eye doesn’t hurt, but I figured I should probably get it looked at – which means another doctor visit hours away. I thought perhaps WebMD would count. When I looked up "bleeding eye" online, it looks like I have a subconjunctival hemmorhage. Subconjunctival hemmorhages can be caused by sneezing or even coughing. I may have rubbed my eyes too hard in the van. It’s supposed to take about two weeks to heal completely. I’m still undecided about going to the doctor –I think I’ll see how the weekend goes. Just in case - does anyone know how to say opthamologist in Slovak? : )