Look Ma! No Hands!

I am in love and I don't care who knows it.

This is Vicki's little boy Mattias. And he has my heart right now.



Vicki is one of the chicas in the cardshop. Every day, she brings Mattias, whom I affectionately call "El Senor," to work. Whenever I need a break, I like to play with the baby.

When I first came to Peru, I was fascinated by the way in which Peruvian mothers carry their babies. Using a special blanket called a lliclla, moms in Peru carry their children on their back. You can't go anywhere in Arequipa and especially Alto Cayma without seeing a mom and her baby.

A couple of weeks ago, I bought a lliclla because I wanted to learn to carry a baby like a Peruvian mama. I announced to the girls in the cardshop that I was hoping to learn to "cargar" (carry my baby on my back). They laughed and handed me a 2 liter jug of water wrapped in a blanket. "Practice with this first," they told me.
Dutifully and carefully, I practiced and practiced and practiced.

To cargar is not easy. Here's how it works:

First, you lay the lliclla on the table somewhat crooked. You want to have a corner at the top, a corner at the bottom, and a corner on eaither side. Then, you place the baby in the middle of the blanket, and fold the bottom corner over the baby.



Then, gather the two blanket corners on either side of the baby and bring them together.



Carefully, fling the baby over your shoulder and onto your back.





Get the baby settled, and tie the two corners into a knot around your shoulders.



And that's how it's done.

Last week, after a lot of practicing, I was invited to cargar Mattias.

Here I am, tying the knot in the lliclla with the baby on my back.



This is El Senor. And here I am, an Apprentice Peruvian Mama.



This is how you "descargar" - or take the baby off your back.



Of course, I kissed El Senor and thanked him for his trust after I was done : )



Here's Mattias, playing peek a boo with the world on his mom's back. What a life!

Adventures in Eating

Last weekend, my host sister Ana Lu (who was in town from the weekend from Lima) announced that she had a craving for anticuchos. Upon hearing this, the rest of my family jumped at her suggestion and announced that we would all go in caravan for anitcuchos. It was 11:00pm at night, and I had already eaten dinner, but because I had never tried anticuchos before, I decided to join the fam.

On our way over to the restuarant, I asked Ana Lu what exactly anticuchos was made from. Before she could answer me, my host mom interrupted and said in Spanish, "Meghan, you're going to love anticuchos. It's the heart of Arequipa." And with that, both of my host sisters started giggling. "It is?" I asked, surprised. "But what's it made of?" My host mom said, "All good things. Don't worry. It's a food that's close to my heart." Again, spontaneous giggling. "Okay," I said, suddenly nervous but not sure why.

When we arrived and the food was brought out to us, my host family asked what I thought of anticuchos.



"It's good." I assured them while I chewed the tough meat in my mouth.
"Do you really think so?" Mama Charito asked. "Yes," I answered.

It was at that point that Ana Lu leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Meghan, anitcuchos is made of cow heart." I am pretty sure I swalled. Audibly.

Well, I can cross cow's heart off my list of Peruvian experiences.

Cuy (cooked guinea pig) is next.



I'll try anything once : )

What's in a Name?

Pumpkin. Boo. Dear (although, in many households it is usually preceded by a "Yes.") Baby. Sweet cheeks.

Some of you may know that I am fascinated with terms of endearment - especially in other languages. I think they are a riot, and that they give us insight into other people and other cultures.

Slovakia had wealth of terms of endearment. One of the more common ones was "chrobacik" which means bug. Another, one that I use for my boyfriend is "zlato," which is the Slovak equivalent of our "honey" and means "gold." Unfortunately, my boyfriend is a smart aleck and returns the favor by calling me "Mega-phone."

When I was in Austria, I learned from Heidi's old host brother that, in German, a common term of endearment is "schatzi" which means treasure. Another, one that is used for a little child, is hosenscheisser which means "my little pants-crapper." HA! Can you imagine?! (I'm sorry mom, but I am totally adopting this for your future grandchildren.)

Two weeks ago, I was having dinner with my host mom and Pia, my sister. Charito asked Pia, "What are you doing with gordito tonight?" I was shocked! "Gordito" means "the little fatty." I thought Charito liked Pia's boyfriend, Gonzalo (who is NOT fat), but after hearing this, I assumed that was not the case.

A few minutes later, after Pia shared their plans, she got a phone call. "Hello gordito," she said. At this point my jaw about hit the table. "Charito," I hissed, while Pia was talking, "Why are you calling Gonzalo gordito?" Charito looked at me blankly and said, "Because in Peru it's what we call people we care about." I was flabbergasted. Who in their right mind would want to call someone they loved "my little chunker?!" But, it's true. Gonzalo even calls Pia, "Gordita." Both Charito and Pia thought the fact that I was appalled was hilariously funny.

A few minutes later when Gonzalo showed up at the door, Charito asked him and Pia if they would like to stay for dessert. Both said no, and when Charito reported this to me in the kitchen, my response was to shake my head and say, "Go figure. The gorditos don't want dessert."

Charito died laughing.

6 Weeks In...

Today marks the end of my sixth week in Peru. Here are 10 of my first reflections on life and culture here in Cayma where I live:

1. People iron their laundry. All of it. And you might not believe it, but I even caught my host mom ironing my underwear.
2. For breakfast, it is common to make juice with a little bit of water and a blend of fresh fruits. I love this. And I can't wait to "try this at home."
3. Peruvians - yound and old - party hard and stay out late on the weekends. My host mom is just over fifty and she got in at 2am last night. Go figure.
4. It is Peruvian law that employees must work 48 hours a week. Many work more. However, they day is structured a little differently. They got to work from 9-2ish. Then they come home for lunch (the biggest meal of the day) with their families and for time to relax until 4. Then they go back to work until 7:30 or 8. When they come home for the day, they usually eat a small meal and my family normally has tea.
5. Here in Cayma, you can walk EVERYWHERE. To church, to the grocery store, to the gym, to the pool - you name it and it's close by. (I walked everywhere in Tisovec last year, but there was really nowhere to walk to.) In Cayma, there are always people on the move.
6. Many women choose to "cargar" their children. This means, they carry them in a blanket, called a lliclla, on their back. I am currently in the process of learning how to do this, and I am hoping to explain more in a blog later this week.
7. I love mangoes. They are my new favorite thing.
8. As is true of most places in Central and South America, time is relative. People are habitually late, but in the eyes of the Peruvians it seems that they not so much worried about being somewhere "on time" but "in time." I am slowly starting to adjust my internal clock to allow for the fact that everyone makes an entrance ten to twenty minutes late.
9. This is not surprising, but is worth stating: everyone is Catholic.
10. As in Slovakia, I have a new name - one that I just started being called this week: Meg-ita. This is a diminuitive form of "Meghan" and is used for friends and family.

The Art of Listening

Some of you may remember a post called "The First Act of Love" I wrote at the very beginning of last year. In this blog update, I discussed the addage: "the first act of love is careful listening" - especially in regards to post-communist society. In order to love the people in Slovakia - no matter how strange or backwards they may seem - it is important, first, to listen to their stories and their history.

Well, I ran across another addage about listening when I was preparing for Nuevos Horizontes meeting. I think it very much so applies to people of all ages but especially teenagers and especially teenagers in Alto Cayma. The addage states:
"Listening is so close to love that most people can't tell the difference."

One of the things I get to do in Alto Cayma is train Lurdes and Tulita in how to work with teenagers - how to lead small group conversations, how to earn their trust, and how to guide them in a way that doesn't simply tell them they what to do. For me, working with teenagers (and people in general) begins with listening. In Alto Cayma, many, many children grow up somewhat on their own because their parents work hours upon hours simply to make a couple of dollars. Many families struggle with issues such as abuse and alcoholism - and sadly, these situations often discapacitate listening in the home. It is imperative that these teens' ideas and dreams are not only listened to but affirmed as well.

Tulita and Lurdes aren't the only people learning - the youth are learning as well. I am slowly teaching them how to have small group conversation so that we can create a safe and comfortable space for teens to talk about their lives. Normally when I do this, it starts in a somewhat silly way: with Would You Rather questions. For those of you who have worked with me in the past, you are more than familiar with this set of questions. For those of you who have not, I will share with you a sample from the youth meeting we had yesterday.

Would you rather drink Inca Cola (a soda unique to Peru) or Coca Cola?
Would you rather have to say everything you think (EVERYTHING!) or never speak again?
Would you rather never brush your teeth or never wash your face?
Would you rather have diarrhea or be constipated?
Would you rather live forever or die tomorrow?

As you can see, these questions fluctuate from the ridiculous and the silly to more serious ones that can lead to fruitful discussion. The kids in Alto Cayma loved them. In our conversation yesterday, we moved from Would You Rather questions to Highs (something good that happened in your life this week) and Lows (something bad that happened in your lives this week). I encourage Victor, Lurdes and Tulita to write the kids' highs and lows down for several reasons:
1. to show the teens we are listening
2. so that we can remember what's going on in their lives and ask them about these things the next time we see them.
3. so that if there are red flags that we need to follow-up on, we can remember

One of the other things I asked the youth to do yesterday was fill out a personal inventory. In this inventory, I asked the kids questions about themselves and about what they would like to talk about. A random selection of questions from the inventory includes:
- From a list of activities, choose the ones that most interest you.
- From a list of adjectives, choose 5 that best describe you.
(Some of the adjectives include: ambitious, trust-worthy, cautious, introverted, extroverted, stubbourn, talkative, calm, self-confident, energetic, resentful,lonely, kind, worried, tired...)
- Something that makes me laugh is...
- Today I am most happy about...
- My biggest worry in life is...
- My best friend is... because...
- Do you agree with this statement: Most of the time, I feel happy and healthy.
Why or why not?
- When I grow up, I want to be...
- Do you have an adult in your life that you can trust? Who is this person?
- From a list of themes, circle all those you would most like to talk about in youth group (These include: body image, my future and goals, things that happen in my life sexuality and relationships, family, friends, my talents, peer pressure, anger management, pop culture, communication, hope/faith, popular music, drugs and alcohol, how to help my friends when they have problems)

The results from the inventories were fascinating. I was little worried that a group of youth who were used to playing a lot of soccer and volleyball and youth meetings would be less than excited to fill out this quesitonnaire. However, I was excited to find that this wasn't the case - the kids took the inventories very seriously and answered them honestly.

I am still analyzing their answers; however, preliminarily, I have found:
- their is a 50/50 divide between kids that can name an adult they trust and kids who cannot
- the main worries are: family problems, school & exams, the death of a loved one, and future life after high school
- a handful or two of kids circled lonely on their adjective description list
- a smaller handful circled worried
- some kids did not feel they agreed with the statement about happiness and health
- we have a bunch of future mechanics, engineers, teachers, and business professionals on our hands!
- the themes that a majority of kids most want to discuss include: my future and goals, sexuality and relationships, my talents, and hope and faith.

As part of a way to connect with the kids - to talk about would you rathers, school, friends and relationships and any problems they may be having, I now have office hours (what I call "Horas de Presencia" or "Hours of Presence) during which I can be found (with cookies) in the office to be present with and for the youth. This Wednesday will be my first Wednesday, and I hoping it goes well. I will keep you posted.

Nuevos Horizontes

My primary responsibility in Alto Cayma is working with a community youth group called Nuevos Horizontes. The youth are between the ages of 12 and 18. Usually, we gather together on Saturdays.

This group is founded in memory of a very brave teenager in Alto Cayma. A couple of years ago, like some teenagers do, this teenager in Alto Cayma got involved with a bad crowd. Gloria, Jim, and Victor worked very hard to help this kid, but nothing really seemed to be working. Finally, they decided to kick him out of the Acercandonos program because of his behavior. For this teenager, this was his wakeup. He came a couple of days later requesting a meeting with Gloria, Jim and Victor. In the meeting, he apologized and vowed to change. Because he seemed sincere, this teenager was offerred the grace of a second change. Sadly later that week, this boy was nowhere to be found. The entire neighborhood searched for him. After a few days, his body was found at the bottom of a ravine. It seems he was pushed. Everyone thinks that the teen was tyring to disassociate himself from the gang he had been apart of and that the gang did not appreciate this. Jim told me that they buried this young man on Easter Sunday.

From the life and death of this teen, the community learned something very important: It is important for responsible, caring adults to be involved in the lives of teenagers so that they can help protect and guide them as they navigate their paths to adulthood. Gloria, Jim and Victor founded this group as way to do just this for the youth in Alto Cayma.

This group is led by Victor, Tulita and Lurdes. Normally there are about 30 youth who participate, and the group is hoping to grow more. They have gone on outings such as the circus and have hiked the mountains in the area. They have helped to clean up the streets of Alto Cayma, and they have had psychologists come in to talk aobut drugs and alcohol, and self esteem. The group already does a lot of formative things, and I am happy to help in continuing to add shape to Nuevos Horizontes.