Have You Been Watered?

This is a question that I never thought to ask - myself or anyone. Yet, this is the question all my students asked me when we got back to school on Wednesday.

According to Slovak custom, on the Monday after Easter, the men (as well as their younger male counterparts) will walk through their town, knocking on the doors of women that they know. They will lure the women outside and douse them with large buckets of water. Then, they will whip them using braided sticks with ribbon on the ends. This is supposed to insure that the woman will be beautiful and fertile for the next year. With gratitude, the women are then expected to provide their watering friends with chocolate, alcohol and money. Then they are supposed to fill up their buckets with water for the next woman who needs fertilizing.

This a version of the story I told students in answer to their question about whether Ms. Large got watered:

For Easter holiday, I went to Bratislava. We stayed in an empty apartment in Old Town. We had the apartment all to ourselves. Our other teacher friends lived upstairs in their own flats. We had heard on Easter Sunday that there were some gentlemen who wanted to water us, so Ms. Mason (Becky), Colleen, and I decided that we were going to remain inside all day on the day after Easter.

On Monday morning, we woke up late, we ate breakfast, and we were sitting around in our pjs when Becky heard noise in the hallway. She looked through the peephole in the door and sure enough there was a crowd of guys standing outside in hallway. Becky announced, “Girls, they’re here.” Then she sat down on the couch and we studiously proceeded to ignore them. A few minutes later, the phone rings and our American friend, Jon, tells Becky that the boys have made us breakfast. Of course, we see through this ploy, so she hangs up the phone. A few more minutes pass and the phone rings again. Becky answers and Jon asks us if we want to “come out and play.” Becky responds by saying, “I don’t know. Is there water involved in this play?” Jon answers, “Well let’s just say that I was told to tell you if you want to come out, you should leave your cell phones in the apartment.” Becky hung up the phone.

After more time passes, we realize the boys are still in the hallway and there is little chance that they are going away. So, Becky, who is peering through peephole, announces, “Alright boys. You win.” As soon as she says this, she watches as the boys scatter. They even took of their glasses. Oh crap, I thought.
We open the door, and we see three of our American friends and a group of Slovak guys whom I have never seen before in my life. Politely, they introduced themselves. “Hello, I’m Andrej,” “Hello, I’m Martin,” “Hello, I’m Janko.” They ask us if we had a good Easter. Then they ask us if we are enjoying Slovakia. We literally participated in small talk for three or four minutes before one of the guys yells out, “Let’s DO this!” Immediately, one guys scoops Becky up and throws her over his shoulder. Another guy grabs my arms, pulls them behind my back and wraps his wrist around them. They run us down the stairs and out of the apartment building.

As soon as we are set down outside, SPLASH. We are drenched in water. Then, the boys gather around us and lightly “whip” us with their braided sticks. And then, (this is the part my students loved) after we are watered and whipped the boys ask US if for chocolate. Are you kidding me? : ). Clearly, they have lost their minds. THEN, the boys have the nerve to ask us if we could fill up their buckets. Becky and I laughed at them. No way in h-e-double-hockey sticks.
As Becky and I were walking upstairs, the boys good-naturedly said to each other, “These American girls! They come to Slovakia to experience Slovak culture and then when we give it to them, they don’t like it. What do they want from us?!” Thankfully, Becky and I heard about this after the fact and second-hand.
When we got upstairs, we changed our clothes. A few minutes later, our three American friends knocked on the door. When we opened it, they came in and gave US chocolate because we were such good sports. (“American guys!” I told my students. “We like American guys!”)

My students enjoyed the story. I ended by telling them, “So to answer your question, yes, I have been watered AND fertilized. I am officially a Slovak woman.”